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Wade [userpic]

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October 19th, 2017 (03:01 pm)

Why do we go out of our way to try and live the life we believe we're supposed to live?  I find myself trying to fit into these social norms even though I realize some of them are standards set by people I don't even give a shit about.  Why do I feel compelled to live a life set by these standards, even over my own happiness?

Wade [userpic]

Welp.

September 20th, 2017 (01:40 pm)

Every bad thing that has ever happened to me in my life can be contributed to a relationship.  Why the fuck would I want to put myself through that?

Wade [userpic]

Dreamland

September 18th, 2017 (09:08 am)

Last night as I slept in my bed, I had a dream that I was sleeping on my couch.  That wasn't the weird part, the weird part was that my house phone was ringing in that second dream waking me up, and it's not even hooked up, so it startled me awake, and then it made no sense so I woke up from the second dream like in those crappy TV sitcoms where people keep waking up from more dreams.

Wade [userpic]

The rose from Beauty and the Beast

September 13th, 2017 (11:09 pm)

It's actually pretty spot on symbolism for real life, or at least trying to date in your 30s.  The roses keep falling as you get older and less desired, and eventually you're just stuck as a beast forever.

Wade [userpic]

I have a reason again.

August 24th, 2017 (03:46 pm)

I got my dog back, at least for now.

Wade [userpic]

(no subject)

August 20th, 2017 (09:09 pm)

The only reason I continue this day to day, is because I want to see myself as an old man.

Short of that, I don't really see a reason anymore.  No one has given me a reason, and I find that really sad.

Wade [userpic]

Pocket 3s

July 27th, 2017 (10:52 pm)

Some people's entire lives are an excuse.  Blame this, blame that, here's why, because, because, because.

Everyone is dealt a hand, some are better than others, but ultimately you have the choice to hold 'em or fold 'em.

Wade [userpic]

Does the face get rendered in your mind?

July 20th, 2017 (11:50 pm)

The other night I was having a normal dream, and there was a girl sitting at a table across the room from me, I noticed her but she didn't turn around.

When I woke up and thought about the dream for a while, I was left wondering if my subconscious mind had already devised what her face would look like if she turned around, or if it didn't, because my mind knew that it wasn't going to have to do so, because it wasn't going to make her turn around anyway.

On some level it bothers me that I'll never know the answer to these things that I ask myself like this, but at the same time I realize they have no significance to anything, so why should it?

Wade [userpic]

Time passes

July 18th, 2017 (10:11 pm)

Everyday time goes by and memories fade.  Days pass and as each does I feel as though love is more infatuation.  "La tristesse durera toujours..."

Wade [userpic]

Subconscious conditioning.

May 31st, 2017 (10:11 pm)

Why have I been conditioned my entire life to believe I'm not good enough?

I just thought about it when I saw a pretty girl, and sadly the first thing that goes through my head is how she's way out of my league.  Why is that?

I'm conditioned to believe there's no way in which I'm good enough for the pretty girl, no way where I'm good enough for the promotion, the better room, the better club, anything nice seems like it's better than me.

Why though?  Why has life broken me down like this that not only others but even myself think this as the very first thing?

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