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Wade [userpic]

Vivid dream

March 2nd, 2017 (03:20 pm)

I had a dream that I was riding in a car with some people I know, and at the last moment a car in front of us swerved to the right, and there was a guardrail there and we couldn't avoid hitting it and flying over.

I didn't know how far the fall was, but in my mind I was thinking to myself not to tense up, and just wait for impact. It seemed like I was waiting so long for impact that I knew there was a very low survival rate. Then I started to think, well, hopefully this is just a bad dream that I need to wake up from, and then sure enough, I found myself trying to wake myself up, and it worked. It was weird, because for a short time after I woke up, I actually questioned if it was in fact a dream, or if it wasn't and my mind was tricking me into believing I woke up to avoid the reality of my inevitable (and soon to be) death.

Maybe this is still part of that trick, eight hours later.

Wade [userpic]

Dating in your 30's; explained.

November 28th, 2016 (11:13 pm)

Dating in your 30's is nothing like dating in your 20's.  You don't find someone you like, mostly through friends, and then pursue that person to see if they like you back, in your 30's it's more like a damn business transaction.  I feel like online dating has been more of a nightmare than the blessing I thought it would be.

It's like what does this person have to offer, how broken are they, what reason can I find why they aren't good enough to date?  Women do it to me, I do it to women.

And it's because for every person you find a flaw with, doesn't matter, there's like an endless supply of more dates in apps.  When I first signed up and started using these apps, I actually liked the idea of that, but after being on there for like a year, and seeing the same faces pop up over and over, I realized that I was one of those faces too.

But unfortunately, when you're in your 30's most if not all of your friends have already settled down, so there's no real way to meet new people unless you actively get out and do some kind of social activities just to meet people, or get setup on some weird blind dates through people you know who want to play matchmaker, and nobody wants to deal with that.

Wade [userpic]

So, what's your dog's name?

November 4th, 2016 (10:42 am)

Things I excel at: Being independent and sucessful, being funny, managing my money, cooking, cleaning, friendship, companionship, working on stuff, being a good boss, taking care of myself and managing good hygene and grooming, being caring for others and pets, planning ahead, helping others in need, etc.

Things I DO NOT excel at:  Speaking casually to a new romantic interest.

Wade [userpic]

Let's hope I'm not clairvoyant.

November 1st, 2016 (10:29 am)

So I had a dream last night, I will explain it best I can.

I was at my parents house with my family, they were there.  I was trying to fix the little switch thing wrong with my truck, because I was supposed to sell it, and for some reason this guy from my work was there, because he was supposed to buy it, but he changed his mind.

Then my brother in law Jerry bought some couch from me (some couch I don't even own, no idea where that came from) and we leaned it up against some tree at my parents down by the water, because he had to pick it up.  We'll the rest of the family was standing around, and when we turned back towards the house, a huge explosion with a mushroom cloud happened miles away.  I remember doing the extended arm thumb trick to see if we were in the initial blast zone (like from the fallout games) and saying "well we're in the initial kill zone, I love you all" then the house just turned to black ash dust and like exploded upwards in a puff.  Then everything else started to follow, including us.

Wade [userpic]

Lowercase L

October 24th, 2016 (04:29 pm)

Can afterlife be anymore meaningless than life?  Probably not, because at least you don't know it's meaningless.  So it's not a meaningless something, it's just nothing.

Wade [userpic]

My vinyl collection.

September 21st, 2016 (10:05 pm)

If I were to drop dead tomorrow, I don't think there's a soul that would appreciate or understand my albums collection.  The sad thing is that it would probably be given away not knowing what half of it really is.

Am I too young to write a will?  I seriously know who would probably appreciate what out of my personal possesions way more than anyone in my family knows.

Wade [userpic]

For some reason this might bother me forever.

August 30th, 2016 (02:01 am)

It's been 8 years since I first realized it, and I still can't stand being judged like that.  What the fuck is so bad about me?

Wade [userpic]

Quick question.

August 16th, 2016 (09:22 pm)

When they look back at history, do you want to have been on the side of putting up walls to divide, or tearing them down to unite?

Wade [userpic]

The Darkest Hour

June 23rd, 2016 (11:19 pm)

I don't believe in love.  It becomes a dead weight around your neck before long.  I look after me these days, and if there's a bit of something along the way, then, all the better.

Wade [userpic]


June 14th, 2016 (09:57 pm)

It's nights like this one.  That alone feeling, it's like dying of thirst and nothing can quench it.  These days will pass, but when you're in it, it feels like nothing you've ever felt.  It can change you as a human being, change your mindset.

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